New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
