Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize