come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
