We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
