I cockslap morals
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize