thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
