Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
