You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
