i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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