covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
