you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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