A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
