loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
