fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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