Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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