We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
