I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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