i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
