thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
