I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
