You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
