About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
