it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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