filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize