i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
