Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
