I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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