If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
