trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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