accomplished twins. life is a go
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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