My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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