did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
