im holly from the hills drunk
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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