come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
