Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
