in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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