just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
