3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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