what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
