if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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