It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
