Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
