I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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