So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
