we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
operation have a gay friend backfired
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
