found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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