I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
