I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
