HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
