The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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