The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
