Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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