I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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