is your mom at the bar?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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