Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
