what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
