Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
