Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
