there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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