one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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