He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
