dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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