So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
