he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
