Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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