Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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