the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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