One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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