I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
