he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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