I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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