What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
