escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
