My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
