I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We need a shit load of segways right now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
