I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
