bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize