by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
