I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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