I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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