Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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