Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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