So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
