Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
