I want to have your abortion
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I want a musical about memes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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